


Unknown Desire

by Shermanator7



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24567439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shermanator7/pseuds/Shermanator7
Summary: Brittany S. Pierce is the social outcast of McKinley High. Constantly bullied by the Cheerios for being the only out lesbian at school she one day receives a message from an unknown number asking for advice. Slowly she starts to grow feelings for this unknown person until things all come crashing down.
Relationships: Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 19
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter One

Brittany S. Pierce took a deep breath as she sat in her car. She was parked just outside of William McKinley High School. Quite possibly Brittany’s least favorite place on Earth. Everyday was miserable for her as she was belittled by the popular kids and made fun of for seemingly anything. They’d mock her little intelligence, her inability to be social, and most of all her sexuality. 

It started at a party her sophomore year when she was discovered making out with a girl in a closet. Ever since then finding the word dyke written on her locker or being called a freak was normal for her. And the biggest instigator was head cheerio Santana Lopez. The girl seemed to have it out for Brittany. Almost everyday she would do something that resulted in Brittany crying to herself in the bathroom. Wether it involved a slushy being thrown in her face or one of Santana’s legendary insult rants. 

This particular day Brittany was feeling especially down. The previous night she heard her parents discussing her grades. She’d never felt stupider in her life than when she heard her father talking about her.

“Nothing seems to work Whitney. She studies and works with tutors but still she’s not getting any smarter.” 

Brittany rested her head on her steering wheel just trying to gain the courage to go inside. The odds of her immediately being brought down by her classmates was high but she had started to grow a thick skin for insults. Being called a lezzie slut only had an impact the first dozen times. Especially since it didn’t make any sense. Brittany was still a virgin and hadn’t even gotten close to not being one. Her closet make out session was the furthest she’d ever gotten with anyone. And after they had been discovered the girl she was kissing proceeded to claim that it was only experimenting. 

“You’ve got this,” Brittany sighed to herself. 

She stepped out of her car and slowly made her way towards the school. Once inside she did her best to walk through the halls avoiding lettermen jackets and Cheerios uniforms as best as she could. Unfortunately when she arrived at her locker she knew her luck was out. She could feel several pairs of eyes on her so she slowly turned around. Standing in front of her was McKinley three most popular Cheerios. Quinn Fabray, Kitty Wilde and in the middle was of course Santana Lopez. It was McKinley infamous Unholy Trinity. 

“Hey freak,” Santana said with a fake cheeriness to her voice. 

“What do you three want?”

“Why Brittany I’m offended. You act like three girls can’t just visit their friend at school.”

“You guys aren’t my friends. Nobody is in this school. Except for...”

Brittany’s sentence was cut off by Kitty throwing a surprise slushy in her face. It was raspberry which was easily the worst as it stained the hardest, and Santana knew this. As the cold syrup dripped down her shirt Brittany couldn’t help but start crying. She was used to the bullying but starting her day with it was beyond miserable. As she cried Santana smirked before approaching her. 

“Just because you like pussy doesn’t mean you have to be one,” she taunted before walking away with the two blondes. 

Brittany leaned against her locker crying until someone suddenly wrapped their hand around their arm. She already knew who it was without opening her eyes so she followed the person until she heard a bathroom door open. She suddenly leaned down and felt the sensation of warm water running on her head. Once the majority of the slushy was washed away she opened her eyes and saw her best friend Sam Evans standing behind her. 

Sam was the only person at McKinley who stuck with Brittany post coming out. He always tried to help her through the bullying even if it involved dragging her into the girls bathroom where he wasn’t supposed to be. Sam was the first person Brittany came out to after he asked her on a date. She knew she couldn’t lead him on so she decided to be honest. It was risky but Sam ended up being okay with it.

Now the two were closer than ever. Sam confided most of his secrets in her some of which he had never told anyone and Brittany did the same. She never had to worry about Sam, and honestly he was like a brother to her.

As she washed the slushy from her hair she let out her tears. Sam patted her back soothingly as she just lost it. 

“You’re the only person here who doesn’t hate me Sam,” she said through her crying. “Not a single other person here is even remotely happy to ever see me. They’d be just as happy if I never showed up again.”

“Come on Britt don’t say that. I know it all seems hopeless but I’m gonna talk to Puck. We’re both on the football team and he’s dating Santana so he can probably get her to back off.”

“There’s no point Sam. Santana runs that relationship just like she runs this stupid school. If you talk to Puck it’ll only get worse.”

And with that she started towards the bathroom door only stopping as she pushed it open. 

“Thanks Sam. You’re the only person here who I know I can count on,” she said. 

Brittany left the bathroom before heading off to her first class. The rest of the day was peaceful for Brittany which was a bit of a surprise. 

“Maybe the Trinity realized they had gone to far,” she thought to herself. 

When she reached her car she let out a breath glad to finally be done with the school day. She had a test in Geometry she was sure she had failed so it was only so long before her Dad found out. And that meant being grounded from hanging out with Sam and being forced to study. Even though she studied for hours as soon as she had the test in front of her she just froze. 

As soon as she arrived home Brittany went inside where she could hear her Mom talking excitedly. 

“I’m so proud of you Lilly,” Whitney said. 

Brittany followed the voice into the kitchen where her Mom was talking with her little sister. 

Lilly Pierce always seemed to be doing something to impress her parents. She was a freshman but had already done more than Brittany had in her three years. She was a straight A student arguably more beautiful than her and had the perfect boyfriend, a football player named Ryder. She was also on the Cheerios and despite seeing her sisters torment everyday she never said a thing afraid of what would happen to her. 

“What’s going on,” Brittany asked? 

“Well Britt you’re sister just told me about her nomination for Freshman Homecoming Queen,” Whitney said excitedly. 

Brittany put on a fake smile for her sister and gave her a hug. But in the back of her mind she could feel a ping of jealousy. Brittany spent many nights thinking about what life would be like if she was like Lilly. Smart, straight, and popular. 

“It’s really not a big deal,” Lilly said. “Though Ryder and I are shoe ins to win.”

Brittany rolled her eyes subtly at her sisters comment before going up to her room. Once she entered she saw her only other friend Lord Tubbington sitting on her bed. 

“Hey Tubbs,” she said sweetly petting the fat cat. 

The cat purred at the soft pets before crawling over onto his humans pet. 

“It’s just you, Sam, and I, Lord Tubbington. Just us against the world.”


	2. Chapter Two

That night Brittany sat on her laptop trying to cram for an upcoming history exam. As she read through seemingly countless notes about historical battles she grew restless. Suddenly her phone vibrated and she assumed it was Sam. However when she glanced at her phone instead of Sam as the contact it simply read Unknown Number. 

Unknown: Hi, I’m sorry if this is creepy but is this Brittany Pierce? 

Brittany read the message several times with a mixture of confusion and shock. She really couldn’t think of anyone who would possibly want to reach out to her. 

Brittany: Uh yeah this is her. Who’s asking?

Unknown: I’m just a girl. A girl who’s like you actually. Though I’m not quite as brave as you. 

Brittany really couldn’t believe it. Somebody actually thought she was brave. Nobody had ever said something like that to her face. 

Brittany: What do you mean brave? Getting caught during seven minutes in heaven isn’t exactly courageous.

Unknown: Maybe not but ever since then you don’t let people at school get you down.

Brittany: Oh so you go to McKinley I assume. You don’t happen to have a name do you? 

Unknown: Yeah. My names Lydia. And unfortunately I do go to McKinley so I have to suffer watching what they do to you. I wish I could help. 

Brittany: Don’t worry about it. I honestly understand why you’d be worried to help. With all they do to me I wouldn’t want the same for you.... Now if you don’t mind me asking why’d you message me?

Lydia: I just felt like I needed to talk to you. There are several gay guys at McKinley but you’re the only out lesbian. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone I guess. 

Brittany smiled at the message. It was one of the only truly kind things she’d heard in awhile. Right as she was about to respond her Mom called her down. She left her phone on her bed before going downstairs to the kitchen. 

“What’s up,” she asked her Mother?

“Well Brittany I just wanted to tell you that I was talking to Mrs. Anderson today at the grocery store. And she has a son going through the exact same identity crisis as you.”

Brittany internally sighed at her Mother. When her parents found out about her being gay they weren’t necessarily against it, more so confused and not really understanding. Whitney kept going on about how Brittany just hasn’t found the right guy so she’s made it her mission to find him. 

“So Mrs. Anderson and I set the two of you up. We thought you guys could get coffee together this Friday and maybe hit it off,” she said excitedly. 

Brittany really couldn’t believe this was happening. Her Mom was trying to set her up with someone who was also gay. 

“Mom please don’t make me do this. I’m sure he’s great and all but I’d really prefer to find somebody on my own.”

“Enough Britt! I am tired of you going on and on about this lesbian business. Girls your age are always on and on about experimenting well it’s time you did a bit less of it. Look at your sister. Her boyfriend is a gentleman. You could have someone like that too, if you just gave them a chance.”

Brittany really didn’t want to get into a fight with her Mom so she just nodded before returning to her room. She picked up her phone and sent Sam a quick text. 

Brittany: Guess whose got a date tomorrow.... with someone of the opposite gender.

Sam: Whitney’s at it again I see.

Brittany: Yeah it was pretty bad. She started yelling about experimenting and being more like Lilly. 

Sam: Yikes. So do you know who the guy is at least. 

Brittany: It’s Mrs. Anderson’s son. Apparently he’s a bit experimental too. 

Sam: Oh great. I’m sure the two of you will hit it off. 

Brittany chuckled as she read the message in the sarcastic tone he always had. 

Brittany: Who knows. Maybe I can finally have another friend. And a gay one at that. 

And with that Brittany set her phone down and laid down on her bed. Her brain was cluttered thinking about Lydia and this mystery boy. Mrs. Anderson was nice enough so hopefully her son could be the same. 

As Brittany laid in bed she felt her eyes get heavier and before long she was asleep. 

The next day Brittany woke up and immediately checked her phone. On it was a message from Lydia that had been sent at 1 am that morning. 

Lydia: Hey I’m really sorry if I came off too strong. I got your number from somebody and just really felt like I needed to text you. I understand if you think I’m a creep though. 

Brittany was a bit surprised by the message. The girl must’ve been up all night worried about this so she quickly typed out a response. 

Brittany: Don’t worry I totally understand wanting somebody to talk to. It’s tough being the only girls like this. 

Lydia: Yeah I know. I’m not ready to come out. Probably not in high school at all to be honest. 

Brittany: Honestly I really wish I hadn’t been outed like I had. It would make everything a whole lot easier. 

Brittany waited for a response but unfortunately didn’t get one so she decided to get ready for the day, hoping just maybe people would be feeling pitiful today.


	3. Chapter Three

Brittany’s hopes were quickly dashed when she got into school and was promptly shoved into a locker by Santana’s boyfriend Noah Puckerman. 

“What’s up Lezzie. Maybe next time your getting some action you can record it for the rest of us,” he sneered well walking away with some other football players. 

She let out an annoyed sigh before standing up and continuing towards her first class. Her back ached from where it had collided with the lockers but she pushed through it. She arrived quickly to her first class of the day which was English. It was a fine class if not a little confusing at times but the teacher was young and sweet and if Brittany was being honest, kinda hot so it was tolerable. What wasn’t tolerable was walking into the room and seeing the desks in clusters. She already knew that meant they’d be doing group work which she dreaded. Especially since this particular class consisted of mostly Cheerios and football players. There was a high chance she’d have at least one of them in her group. 

She sat down at one of the empty groups and watched as more and more people entered the classroom. Before long almost every student had arrived and Brittany was still alone. Each cluster had the max amount of three students except for hers. 

“Good morning class,” the teacher Ms. Owens started. 

She began talking about what they’ve been reviewing when the door suddenly opened. Santana walked in with an annoyed look on her face and a late pass in her hand. 

“Good to see you Santana,” Ms. Owens said kindly. “We’re starting a group project today and Ms. Pierce still needs at least one partner.”

Santana glared over at Brittany before rolling her eyes and trudging over to her table. She sat down in the desk diagonal to Brittany and didn’t give her another glance. 

Ms. Owens began to explain the project as a Presentation where groups would have to pick an author and find something about them that made them unique. They’d then have to go in depth to see how this quality affected and even improved their writing. 

Brittany could see Santana grumbling to herself the whole time as Ms. Owens went into the criteria. Once she was finished there was about 5 minutes of brainstorming for the groups. Being the only group of two Brittany and Santana had slightly more work to do. 

“So do you have any ideas,” Brittany asked?

Santana rolled her eyes before looking down at her nails. 

“Why do I get the feeling you’re gonna wanna write about Emily Dickinson,” she replied. “She was a dyke after all.”

Brittany was shocked by the Latinas sudden insult. And even though she heard the slur many times a week it still hurt each time. After that it was silent between the two until the bell rang. 

“We can go over actual ideas tomorrow,” Brittany said quietly. 

“Or you can just do all the work and I won’t beat you up,” Santana replied bitterly. “How does that sound.” 

Brittany felt like she couldn’t breath after hearing the girls threat so she just nodded. Santana laughed as she walked away from the scared helpless Brittany. 

That night was her big date with the Anderson kid whose name she still didn’t know. They were meeting at the Lima Bean for some coffee and Brittany was strangely excited. Not for a potential boyfriend but more so because if what her Mom said was true this kid was just like her. 

She looked pretty nice as she entered the coffee shop and scanned for the boy. She spotted a boy standing by himself seemingly waiting for someone. He had raven black hair which had a large amount of hair gel in it and he was wearing a nice vest with a bow tie. Brittany approached him with a smile. 

“Hey are you Brittany,” he asked kindly. 

She nodded and stuck out her hand. 

“I’m Blaine,” he continued before shaking her hand. 

The two got their coffee before going over to a table and sitting across from one another. 

“So I hate to say this right off the bat,” Blaine started, “But I just want you to know I’m not exactly...”

“Straight,” Brittany finished for him. He nodded shyly and she smiled. “Yeah me neither. That’s why my Mom made me come on this date in the first place. Trying to straighten me out I guess.”

Blaine laughed softly and Brittany felt a huge weight being lifted off her shoulder. 

“They really don’t seem to get us,” he said sighing. 

“No my Mom just thinks I haven’t found the perfect guy yet.”

“Yeah I can definitely relate to that.”

The two continued talking about their families, school, and other things. One thing they had in common was their siblings being seemingly perfect. Apparently Blaines brother Cooper was some big shot actor and his parents were pressuring him to be just as successful. Finally the conversation went somewhere Brittany had kinda hoped it wouldn’t. 

“So is there a special lady in your life your parents don’t know about,” he asked?

She shook her head no before glancing down. 

“I’ve never actually met another lesbian in person. What about you? I’m sure guys are lining up to date you,” she said with a smile. 

“Actually, yeah there is someone. He actually thought me going on this “date” was hilarious.” We’ve been together for a few months but we’re not really ready to be public. McKinley’s not the most open minded school.

“Yeah tell me about it.”

Blaine stared down at the table wishing he hadn’t brought it up. 

“I’m really sorry about them. It’s borderline criminal the way they treat you at school. But I promise you Brittany starting Monday I’ll do what I can to help.”

Brittany smiled brightly. She couldn’t believe she was actually making a friend. Sure Sam was great but having a new face to talk to was really nice. Especially because Sam’s impressions could get old after awhile. 

“I really appreciate that Blaine. It’s crazy how just having one more friend can make me feel so much better,” Brittany replied smiling. 

The rest of the “date” went smoothly as they connected over other commonalities. After about an hour and a half they had exchanged numbers and were planning to hang out some more. Platonically of course. 

When Brittany returned home her Mom immediately called her into the living room. 

“So how was it,” Whitney asked nervously. 

Brittany shrugged before replying “He’s really nice but I just don’t think it’s gonna go anywhere.”

Whitney sighed and shook her head with disappointment. 

“Then we’ll just have to find somebody else. Somebody like Ryder or that Sam boy. They’re both football players.”

“Ugh Mom how many times do I have to tell you Sam is my best friend. I don’t like him like that at all.”

“Well then we’ll find somebody who you do. Mark my words Brittany by the end of this year you’ll be taking a boy to Senior Prom. I won’t have any of this ridiculous girlfriend business.”

Brittany decided to just stand and nod knowing that any fight between her and her Mom would blow up to become a fight between her and the rest of the her family. Not even Lilly was on her side. At least not since she became a Cheerio. 

Whitney sighed before continuing. “I love you so much Brittany, but I just want what’s best for you. If you were smart you’d listen.”

Brittany continued nodding until her Mom finished. After which she simply went up to her room and laid on her bed. Suddenly her phone buzzed and she quickly checked it. 

Lydia: Sorry I haven’t been responding I just got really busy with school. I’m not doing great in some of my classes so I really have to pay attention. 

Brittany’s stomach flipped out of pure excitement that she could continue talking to this girl. Wether she really knew her yet or not it was exhilarating. 

Brittany: I totally understand. I’m kinda an idiot so I’ve gotta focus a lot too. 

Lydia: Don’t say that Britt. I’ve seen the books you carry in the halls, they’re huge. 

Brittany: Yeah but they’re just some stupid romance novels. Escapism I guess. I read about all these perfect relationships and just kinda picture myself like that. 

Lydia: That sounds great. I’m seeing someone right now to make my family happy but honestly, I couldn’t be less into him. 

The two continued to text back and forth for about an hour about everything including Brittany’s plans of spending the weekend binging Sweet Valley High and Brittany actually felt she was growing closer to the girl. If only she wasn’t just a name on a screen. Brittany really wanted to meet Lydia so she ultimately decided to throw caution to the wind. 

Brittany: Can we meet? I mean you said you went to McKinley so I was thinking we could hang out after school or something. 

Brittany nervously awaited a response and finally after 5 long minutes she got one. 

Lydia: Probably not. Schedules packed. 

Brittany was surprised by the bluntness of the message especially since Lydia had never texted like that before. And as far as she could remember Lydia never mentioned being busy doing anything. 

Brittany: Okay maybe some other time. 

And with that Brittany set her phone down a bit disappointed with how the conversation ended. She was really growing to like Lydia and as dumb as it may sound, she kinda had feelings for the girl. Even though she’d never met her or even heard her voice or seen a picture, the way she knew exactly what to text to make Brittany smile was amazing. 

Brittany sighed as she sat back in her bead and turned on her tv. Right now she just needed a distraction. And what better to distract her than Sweet Valley High.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In future chapters I’m gonna experiment with different pov’s just to keep things interesting. Please review and check out my other Brittana Stories.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like the first person writing. I think it works better but I wanna know what my audience thinks. Thanks for reading and please enjoy and review.

Brittany’s Pov

The weekend went by way too fast for my liking. Sure I spent most of it in my room watching TV well texting Sam, Lydia, and Blaine but it was nice to be out of school. I was dreading first hour today where I’d have to continue working with Santana. It’s funny back in Junior High before she became such a jerk I actually had a huge crush on Santana. And even presently I had to admit Santana was probably the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen, and yeah maybe I ogled her body a little more during pep rally’s than I would like to admit. But with the way she treats me and the other social weirdos of McKinley I’ve lost any sort of attraction towards her. 

Anyway I was sitting in LA about 5 minutes before the bell. I was the only one in class and I was staring at my phone waiting for a response from Lydia. We had been talking all morning after I found out she also loved Sweet Valley High but she had suddenly stopped replying. 

As I sat there waiting the door suddenly opened and who of all people should walk in but Santana. However it wasn’t the confident, imposing Santana I was used to seeing parading through the halls. Instead she had her head down and she silently made her way to the desk beside me. When her head finally came up for a few seconds I could see her eye had a large bruise around it. I was surprised to say the least but I decided not to say anything. Unfortunately I couldn’t stop staring which she noticed. 

“Could you stop staring at me lezzie? I get that I’m a hot piece of ass but I don’t want you jumping me,” she said bitterly. 

“Sorry I just wanted to make sure you’re okay I guess,” I somehow managed to mumble out. 

“Well stop okay. It was just a mistake at Cheerios. A messed up flip that resulted in a face plant okay.”

I wasn’t really surprised by her aggressiveness especially since it was me she was talking to but that didn’t make it any less scary. I was within punching distance of her so I was mentally preparing myself for it. But it never came, to my surprise instead I just watched as Santana stared down at her desk. 

Class started and even more surprising than Santana not hitting me was that Santana was actually helping with our project. We agreed upon an author and managed to get several slides of our presentation done before the bell rang. And as we were packing up I managed to gain enough courage to ask her something. 

“We need to work on this outside of class. So even though I know we’re not really friends or anything could I get your number.” 

“Are you hitting on me,” she suddenly replied seemingly disgusted. 

“No not at all,” I stuttered. 

“Well there’s no way that’s happening dyke. Just DM me your address on Insta and I’ll come over after school.”

And with that she was gone, leaving me alone shocked by her outburst.

I got through the rest of the day until lunch where I sat with Sam. I told him all about what happened with Santana and he listened intently. 

“Do you believe what she said about a Cheerios accident,” he asked?

I shrugged not really sure what to think. 

“It’s not really my place to pry. If something else is going on it’ll go around this school’s rumor mill soon enough.”

We sat in silence for a minute until a tray was suddenly set down next to me. I looked over to see Blaine standing there along with another boy in an outfit that was, flamboyant to say the least. 

“Hey Brittany is this seat open,” he asked kindly. 

I nodded and he sat down next to me with the other sitting next to him. 

“Oh Brittany, Sam, this is Kurt my... boyfriend,” he whispered to Sam and I. 

Kurt gave us a wave and a smile before asking Blaine about something I wasn’t familiar with. I think it was some broadway thing. 

Later that day I had PE where we played volleyball. It went normally until we were dismissed to the locker room. My locker was in the back corner away from everyone else. They all assumed that I perved on them whenever we changed so I just opted to separate. I was the last person done and as I was leaving I heard a distinct sound. The sounds of someone crying. I investigated further by walking towards the source. And when I saw who it was I gasped quietly. There sitting on a bench in the locker room was Santana. I hadn’t seen her since first hour and as I watched her cry I couldn’t believe it. Slowly I tried sneaking away but unfortunately when I turned my foot it made a loud squeak. Immediately Santana’s head shot up.

“What the hell are you doing here,” she yelled at me. 

I immediately tensed up and couldn’t speak so I simply stuttered out a few bits of nonsense which just seemed to make her angrier. 

“Get out of here,” she continued yelling. 

I could clearly see her face and it was obvious she had been crying for awhile. I took a few steps back as she broke down again and kept crying. 

“Is there anything I can do,” I asked?

I honestly couldn’t believe I asked her that but it just kinda came out. She stared up at me for a few seconds before letting out a breath. 

“Why would you wanna help me. I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you since freshmen year.”

“Because there’s clearly something bothering you, and even though we’re not friends or anything I just wanna know you’re doing okay.”

She let out a sigh before shaking her head. 

“Did Puck do that,” I asked suddenly?

I immediately regretted asking as she shot me a sudden glare. 

“Of course not,” she said quickly. “No I told you it was a Cheerios accident.”

I could tell by her tone she was lying. I didn’t want to pry too far but at the same time something was definitely wrong. 

“You know if something’s wrong you should really tell someone.”

“I don’t need a carpet muncher telling me what I should or shouldn’t do okay. So how about you just walk your ass out of here and go back to your place as the bottom feeder of this schools social ladder.” 

I took several steps away seeing the anger in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry I just wanted to help.”

Santana took a deep breath so I turned around and started towards the door. 

“Puck hit me,” I suddenly heard her say and I froze. “If you tell anyone I will personally end you.” 

I couldn’t believe it. Santana actually just told me that. I knew better than to ask for details so instead I just kept walking towards the door until she said one last thing. 

“We still on for after school?”

I turned around to her and without saying a word I just nodded. She gave me a slight nod back and I finally left the locker room. 

After school I rushed home. She had Cheerios until 4:00 so I had like 45 minutes to clean my room. I quickly took down my Taylor Swift posters and shoved my romance novels into the closet. I definitely didn’t need to give Santana any extra bullying material. Once I was done it was 4:05 and I heard the doorbell ring. I heard my Mom answer it followed by a familiar voice.

“Uh hi Mrs. Pierce I’m here to work with Brittany on a project.”

My Mom talked to Santana for a few seconds before I heard her start up the stairs towards my room. I quickly jumped onto my bed and pretended to be on my phone. A few seconds later there she was. A girl I never expected or hoped to be standing in my doorway. 

“Hey,” she said simply. 

I gave her a slight wave but couldn’t shake the sense of nervousness I had. Santana Lopez who spent so much time and energy making my life a living hell was standing in my room. 

We got to work and after awhile of silence she suddenly said something I didn’t expect. 

“I’m sorry for how awfully I treat you.”

I was shocked to say the least. 

“I’ve got Puck pressuring me from one side and Quinn from the other to keep at it. I don’t really hate you but I need them to think I do,” she said somberly. 

I couldn’t believe that she was coming clean like this. But I also couldn’t believe what she was saying about Quinn. She must’ve noticed my face so she explained more. 

“Everyone thinks I run that school but really it’s Quinn. She just puts me up front so when we get heat it goes to me and not her. It keeps her parents and Figgins happy. But really that bitch is insane. She’s conniving and backstabbing and willing to do anything to make herself look better.”

It took me a minute to really process what Santana was telling me. I couldn’t believe the unholy trinity had so much going on. They all seemed so perfect. 

“And poor Kitty’s only there cause Quinn has some dirt on her. Something that would apparently get her disowned if her parents found out. And yet despite being such a mess we’re still on top.”

I wasn’t sure what made Santana feel the need to spill all this but I just listened intently as she did. After a few minutes of silence Santana suddenly stood up. 

“I shouldn’t have said all this. I’m really sorry Brittany.”

She started heading for the door but I called after her. 

“Wait Santana you don’t have to do this. If Puck’s abusing you physically and Quinn emotionally then you need to tell someone.”

She turned towards me and I could see tears forming in her eyes. 

“You don’t get it. She’s got something on me too.”

And with that she was gone. 

Immediately I ran for my phone needing to talk to someone. After a bit of contemplation I shot a text to Lydia. 

Brittany: You won’t believe what just happened.


	5. Chapter Five

The next day at school I was sitting at lunch next to Sam with “Klaine” as I called them across from us when I asked Sam something I’d been wondering for awhile. 

“Do you know any Lydias that go here?”

He looked at me for before thinking it over for a few seconds. 

“No I don’t think so.”

I nodded a little bit disappointed. Last night I did a total social media sweep trying to find Lydia with no results and I was getting desperate. I told this girl everything and to be honest I was kinda falling for her. She always knew what to say and was hilarious over text but now I just really wanted to meet her. I pulled my phone out and decided to try something. 

Brittany: Heyy

I added an extra y just to give her an idea that I was kinda into her but I didn’t want to overdo it with three. To my surprise she almost instantly responded. 

Lydia: Heyy what’s up. 

Brittany: So there’s a pop up carnival coming to Lima in a few days. I was wondering if you’d wanna meet up there and hang out?

I watched the three dots on my screen as Lydia typed her response. The suspense was borderline unbearable as I kept my eyes glued. Finally a full message appeared. 

Lydia: That sounds great. 8:00 on Friday works for me. We could just meet up by the entrance if you wanted. I already know what your pretty face looks like so I should be able to find you. 

I couldn’t help but blush. Nobody not in my family had ever complimented me like that and it felt really good. Almost as good as her next message. 

Lydia: Sorry I meant to say beautiful not pretty. 

Now I had a stupid smile on my face and I was beet red. I didn’t realize it but the three boys around me were all watching confused but entertained at the same time. 

“Looks like somebody’s got a new lady lover,” Kurt teased noticing my blush. 

“Oh shut up. It’s just flirting,” I replied before setting my phone down, my smile still present. 

“Yeah that’s what I said about Blaine months ago,” Kurt continued with his signature sing song voice. 

I rolled my eyes at his teasing and continued to eat lunch but in my head I was freaking out. I was actually going to meet this amazing girl. The first girl I’d ever actually felt close to and the first girl to call me beautiful. I really couldn’t wait. 

The rest of the week went by normally. Santana and I managed to finish and present our project and we even got an A which was the best I’d ever done on a presentation. Things between us have been awkward since the night at my house. She’s been bullying me less which seems to be annoying Quinn but I’m grateful. This week I only got hit with one slushy as opposed to my usual three or four and her verbal assaults had basically come to an end. Though like I said it was really Quinn who I was scared of. Especially if everything Santana told me was true. 

Finally it was Friday and I was at home preparing for my date. It was only 5:30 but I wanted everything to be perfect so I called Kurt and Blaine to come over and help me pick out an outfit. We went through almost my entire wardrobe before settling on a nice but casual floral dress with my denim jacket. After a quick shower I put on my makeup and looked at myself in the mirror. 

“She already thinks you’re beautiful but now she’s gonna be thinking a bit dirtier,” Kurt laughed which earned him a slap on the arm from Blaine. 

I laughed at the two of them. They were such an adorable couple and I’m honestly kinda glad my Mom set me up with Blaine. Speaking of which I told her I was just hanging out with some friends at the carnival. There was no way I was gonna tell her I was meeting a girl. She’d probably force me to stay home or make Lilly go with me.

At 7:45 I left the house and drove the short distance to the carnival. The sun was almost set so the lights on the rides were turned on and I could hear all the excited yelling and laughing. As I walked towards the entrance I had to keep taking deep breaths to calm myself. I really couldn’t believe I was about to meet her. This past week texting her has been the highlight of each day. She was sweet, caring, romantic, understanding and just everything I could possibly want. But even though it all seemed great I knew that just because she could text like that didn’t mean it was what she was actually like. 

It was 8:00 exactly when I reached the entrance but I didn’t see anyone waiting. Whatever, she’s probably just running a few minutes late I thought. 

It wasn’t until 8:10 that I started worrying, so I sent her a text. 

Brittany: Hey I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay. I thought we were supposed to meet up at 8:00?

After a few minutes of no response I started to lose hope. Suddenly I heard somebody call my name but it wasn’t even close to who I hoped. 

“Uh oh it looks like somebody stood up poor little Brittany,” Kitty mocked. 

She was with a group of about six Cheerios who each had smirks on their face. Well except for one. In the back of the group I could see Santana who had what seemed like a sad expression. 

“Too bad, I bet she was thinking she’d finally find another freak to get with,” Kitty laughed as they all walked away. 

I held back tears as I walked back to my car. It was 8:30 now and I knew I had been stood up. Once I reached my car I pulled out my phone and called Sam. I knew I could depend on him. 

“Hey Brittany what’s up,” he answered. 

“She stood me up Sam. Lydia never showed up to our date. I knew nobody cared about me,” I cried. 

“Don’t say that Brittany. I care about you and so does Kurt and Blaine and Lilly and your parents.”

I felt a little better and I decided I needed to distract myself. 

“Would you wanna come down here to hang out for a little bit,” I suggested. 

“Well... I’m actually already at the carnival, with somebody.”

I was surprised by this since Sam hadn’t told me he was seeing anyone. 

“With who,” I asked excitedly. 

“Uh... Quinn Fabray.”

Suddenly all the excitement I had felt turned to sadness. I couldn’t believe Sam would be on a date with her of all people.

“You’re supposed to always be there me,” I replied. “We’re supposed to have each other’s backs. But here you are dating a cold hearted bitch who’s made it her goal to make my life horrible.”

“Brittany calm down. She’s not as bad as she seems okay. Did you know she’s the one who got Becky Jackson on the Cheerios. Yeah she can be a jerk sometimes but.”

I had heard enough so I just hung up. This week had just completely gone from one of the happiest to easily the worst. I quickly drove back home and slumped inside up to my room. I lied down on my bed just wanting to fall asleep when there was a knock on my door. 

“Come in,” I groaned. 

The door opened slowly and Lilly walked in. 

“Hey Britt are you okay,” she asked?

I lifted my head up surprised. Lilly and I didn’t hate each other or anything but we weren’t really close. 

“Not really,” I said shaking my head. 

“Is it about the girl you were going to meet,” she asked?

“How did you know about that?”

“Trust me Britt. Mom might not know when you’re lying but I do. Don’t worry I won’t tell.”

I sat up a bit and patted the spot next to me and Lilly climbed up next to me. 

“She stood me up. I was gonna meet her in person for the first time but she didn’t show. I really like this girl Lilly but I don’t know anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised if she just ghosted me after this. And even worse was that some Cheerios saw me alone and put two and two together.”

“Who was it,” she asked quickly?

I shrugged, “It was just Kitty and her gang.”

She nodded which confused me. 

“Well don’t worry about them Britt. Kitty’s gonna be a stripper just watch.”

I laughed and thanked Lilly for her comfort. I gave her a hug and she left the room. But right as I tucked myself back into bed my phone buzzed. 

Lydia: Hey I’m really really sorry. I thought I was brave enough to do this but clearly I wasn’t. I’d love to still talk to you though, and maybe in a couple weeks we could do a make up date?

Brittany: Honestly I’ll need some time to think about it. You’ve really hurt me Lydia. I thought we were close. 

Lydia: We are Britt. I’m just too much of a coward but I promise I’m trying to gain the courage. 

Brittany: I want you to be comfortable so I’m not gonna force you to come out or anything. Just next time you agree to something stick with it. 

I threw my phone next to me and let out a long breath. Suddenly my phone rang and I groaned. Just once I wanted that damn thing to shut up. I still looked at it though and saw Blaine was trying to call me. 

“Hey,” I greeted upon answering. 

“Sam just texted me. Kurt and I are having a musical marathon tonight and I was wondering if you’d be interested in joining us.”

I smiled grateful to have a friend like Blaine. 

“That’d be great actually.”

“Alright I’ll see you in like 20 minutes.”

I hung up the phone before getting out of bed. I needed to get my mind off things and this seemed like the perfect way to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Next Chapter should be up soon. I’m thinking this will probably end up being around 10 chapters so please leave a comment or review.


	6. Chapter Six

After a weekend of hanging out with Blaine and Kurt I felt reenergized. Lydia and I were talking less but there was definitely still something there that I still felt excited about. 

On Monday I was standing at my locker before lunch putting my books away when Sam sprinted up to me.

“Brittany you’ve gotta come to the lunch room right now,” he said between breaths. 

I followed Sam quickly to the cafeteria where I could see a circle of people shouting and cheering. I pushed through them and was shocked when in the center of the circle I saw Lilly throwing Kitty to the ground. 

“What the hell,” I yelled!

Lilly was holding Kitty’s hands above her head with one hand and slapping her across the face with the other. 

“Lilly get off of her,” I said as I ran forward to pull her off. 

“Why? She’s just a cold hearted bitch who’s getting what she deserves,” Lilly replied kicking her feet towards Kitty who was now backing away in fear. 

“This isn’t what I wanted Lilly,” I said turning her around to face me. “I don’t wanna beat them using violence, you know that.”

I pulled her out of the lunch room and we went to the girls locker room. Once inside she let out an angry yell trying to calm herself down. 

“I’m just done sitting on the side Britt. They do nothing but bully you and push you around and I did nothing for months. I’m such a horrible sister,” she said tears starting down her face. 

“Lilly don’t say that. You’re a great sister. Just because you let a couple douchebags call me names doesn’t make you horrible.”

She continued to cry into my shoulder for several minutes before she backed away and sniffled a few times. 

“Well it ends now Brittany. Wether it’s Kitty, or Santana, or even Quinn I’m done being passive. I don’t want you to end up like one of those suicidal statistics Britt. I love you too much for that to happen. I don’t know what I would do without my sister.”

I pulled her back into a hug and rubbed her back soothingly. 

“I’m never gonna leave you Lilly, or Mom and Dad. No matter how bad things get.”

She nodded before looking me in the eyes and smiling. I couldn’t believe that in such a short time Lilly and I had come so much closer. As she left the locker room I took a deep breath and tried to get all my thoughts together. Once I was done I also started towards the exit when suddenly I heard a voice. 

“I’m glad she beat Kitty up.”

I turned around to see Santana standing in the corner of the locker room. I don’t know how long she had been there but I decided not to question it. She was just starting to pack up her things. 

“And why is that,” I asked confused?

“So I didn’t have to.”

And with that she passed by me and left the locker room. I was left standing in shock. I couldn’t believe Santana was actually defending me. The same girl who a month ago threw me against lockers and dumped food on me. And now... she was going to stand up for me. It confused me the rest of the day and I wasn’t able to focus on anything. 

After school I decided to hang around for awhile in the library to study for some tests I had coming up. As I sat in the quite room I sighed too myself. I was feeling especially stupid as I tried to learn the material for my English test. Nothing was sticking and I was really feeling hopeless. So even though things were kinda awkward I decided to test Lydia. 

Brittany: Heyy

It only took about a minute for a response to come through. 

Lydia: Hey Britt Britt what’s up?

I blushed at the new nickname but quickly typed out a reply. 

Brittany: Just trying to study for my LA test but honestly feeling kinda stupid. 

Lydia: Don’t say that Brittany. You’re way smarter than you realize. There’s nobody else I’d go to if I needed help. 

Brittany: That’s not what most people seem to think. I’m pretty sure every Cheerio and Football player has called me stupid at least once if not more. Especially Puck and Santana. She’s started being nice to me but back in the day she was brutal to say the least. 

Lydia: Well people can change. And at least she’s trying. 

Brittany: I guess so. Can I tell you something secret?

Lydia: Of course.

Brittany: I used to have the biggest crush on Santana. Like literally I’d stare at her during class and blush when I thought she’d notice. 

Lydia: That’s hilarious. Did you ever act on it or anything. 

Brittany: Definitely not. She quickly made it clear she was disgusted by “my kind”. She’s the one who made me pick the locker in the back corner of the locker room. 

Lydia: I’m sorry that’s horrible. You don’t deserve that. You’re brave enough to just be yourself and I hate seeing them always bring you down. 

I was about to respond when I noticed somebody setting their stuff down across from me. I glanced up from my phone to see Sam who gave me a small smile before sitting down. 

“Can we talk,” he asked?

I nodded and he let out a deep sigh. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before hand about my date with Quinn.”

I shrugged before replying, “You’re allowed to make your own decision.”

“I know it upset you but not everything about Quinn sucks you know. She has her bad moments sure but overall she’s actually really cool.”

“Maybe to you Sam. But she has been nothing but a hateful, homophobic bitch to me before I was even outed,” I said meaner than I actually intended. 

“I’m sorry Britt but I really like her. I want her to be my girlfriend.”

“She’s using you,” I finally blurted out. “She uses everyone Sam.”

And with that Sam stood up angrily shoving his chair back. 

“You know what Brittany. You don’t get a say in this. It’s my love life and my decision. And if you don’t support it then I guess you’ll be on you’ve lost your only real friend here.” 

I couldn’t believe he just said that. Sam and I had been friends since middle school and all it took was a weekend of dating the Evil Queen herself to undo it all. 

“Well then fine, I have Blaine and Kurt anyway.”

I couldn’t believe I actually said that. It just kinda came out even though I knew it was terrible. I saw the hurt in Sam’s eyes as he turned and walked out of the library. 

And now... I truly felt alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate all the kudos and comments so please leave them if you want.


	7. Chapter Seven

The rest of the week was miserable. I had several tests that I failed cause I couldn’t be motivated to study. Kurt and Blaine tried to include me in their stuff but I refused it all opting to just sit at home. I wasn’t even doing anything at home other than just moping. I know it was pathetic but losing my best friend was harder than I expected. 

I spent the entire week feeling depressed until finally I worked up the courage to call him Saturday night. As the phone rang my stomach kept turning until finally somebody answered. 

“Well, well, well look who came crawling back.”

I suddenly froze. I couldn’t believe the phone had been answered by Quinn. 

“Where’s Sam,” I finally said. 

“Oh Sam’s just taking a shower. He was pretty sweaty after what we just finished doing,” she said with a laugh. 

Again I felt myself freeze up. There’s was no way Sam lost his virginity to Quinn wether she was his girlfriend or not. 

“Yeah Brittany. I really can’t believe you prefer pussy over what Sam can give you. He’s amazing in bed,” she mocked. 

She must’ve somehow noticed my discomfort despite not being able to see me cause she continued. 

“And don’t think for a second that I’m using Sam. Him and I are actually getting pretty serious so maybe you should just back off. And also you might think Santana taking it easy on you right now but I can guarantee that’s gonna change. So watch your back dyke.”

And with that she hung up leaving me shocked and silent. I had been hoping to save my friendship with Sam but instead I got threatened and insulted by Quinn Fabray. Not exactly how I’d hoped my night would go but honestly with how this week has gone it’s what I should’ve expected. I ended up crying myself to sleep after a few hours. 

The next morning I woke up with my door flying open and my Mom barging in. 

“This has gone on long enough Brittany. Just because that boy Sam didn’t want to date you doesn’t mean you can coop yourself up like this.”

I groaned and turned away from my Mom. 

“It’s not that he doesn’t want to date me Mom it’s that he’s decided to be with the girl whose made my high school life a living hell,” I cried. 

“Well you really can’t blame him sweetie. You’re not the easiest to be friends with.”

I couldn’t believe it. My own mother just said that about me. I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Can you please just support me for once. I am your daughter just like Lilly yet you refuse to love me as much as her. I’d just like one day to go by where I don’t feel like a disappointment to you.”

I saw my Moms eyes fill with realization after I was done yelling. She took a step back before leaving my room quickly. I didn’t see her the rest of the day deciding instead to just stay in my room. Even when Lilly came knocking I just stayed silent. 

Monday came by before long and I was dreading going to school. I technically still had Kurt and Blaine but without Sam, it just didn’t feel the same. He was the person I told everything too. He was the person who wouldn’t judge me for anything yet I couldn’t do the same. I was feeling like the worst friend in the world. 

But things quickly got worse when I reached my locker. Right after I took out my books I turned around to see Santana standing in front of me with a sad look on her face and a Big Gulp in her hand. 

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. 

And within seconds she threw the cherry slushy at me completely coating my front. 

I was in complete shock. Santana had gone from actually being nice to me to being right back to a bitch in literal seconds. I just couldn’t understand why. 

1 Hour Earlier

Santana’s POV 

I was in the locker room putting my hair up into my high pony when I suddenly heard the door shut and lock. I turned around to see Quinn strutting in.

“So Lopez, I’ve noticed that you’ve been loosening up on the lezzie.”

“Yeah I guess I just figured she’s had years of torment so why not just lighten up sometimes.”

Suddenly out of nowhere Quinn slapped me. Hard. I put my hand up to my cheek in shock. It was just like how Puck had hit me. I was speechless and really couldn’t believe that just happened. 

“Listen up bitch. You’re gonna keep tearing that girl down. If you don’t I’m gonna tell everyone that you tried to kiss me. And then everyone will know your nothing but a pathetic carpet muncher.” 

Every day that night haunted me. The night we won nationals freshman year. I was sleeping over at Quinn’s house and we were talking and getting closer. And being the idiot I am I leaned over to kiss her. She was disgusted and has since used it to essentially blackmail me. Because yes, I’m a closeted lesbian. As much as I hated to admit it every time Puck kissed me it felt wrong. Though I still kissed him again and again hoping it would one day feel right. Luckily though I’ve always refused to put out for him despite what he tells people. 

“Okay I’ll do it,” I told Quinn. 

“You better. If I don’t see her drenched in a Big Gulp by third period you bet your ass your secret will be all over school. And your reputation will be completely flatlined.”

And with that last threat she turned around and left the locker room. I was in shock but I knew what I had to do. Even though I knew I didn’t want to. And as I filled the cup with red slushy I couldn’t shake a feeling of guilt. Before I did it I whispered sorry to her but as I watched her walk towards the bathroom crying I can honestly say I’ve never felt worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, Please, Please leave some comments. They’re really what motivate me to keep going. Sorry this chapter didn’t have much to it but I’ve got some more stuff planned. Only a few chapters left!!


	8. Chapter Eight

Santana’s POV

I was probably the biggest jerk in the world. Brittany did nothing wrong and yet is still did it. No scratch that Brittany’s been doing nothing wrong for years and yet it’s never stopped me. I guess in some twisted way I was jealous or in denial of her being out and proud. Secretly I wished I was like that. I wish I had a girl whose hand I could hold. And if I was being honest I sometimes thought of that girl as Brittany. Yeah she was kind of a nobody but the way her golden hair lit her up, or how when I saw her helping the wheel chair kids whose name I can’t remember. Or how she was genuinely concerned when Puck hit me. All those things added up to me crushing hard for her. 

“Lopez you idiot,” I said to myself as I walked down the empty hallway my eyes glued to the floor. 

I needed somewhere quiet to be so I could think about everything. I couldn’t be a slave to Quinn for much longer before I’d snap but I don’t know if being outed was much better. I wandered through the halls until I found myself at the auditorium. I walked inside and sat in one of the last rows before letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. 

“You’ve ruined everything,” I kept repeating to myself between crying. “You don’t deserve her love.” 

As I kept crying I suddenly heard a sound. I saw the door on the opposite side of the auditorium open and Brittany walk in. As she made her way to the stage I did my best to remain silent. I watched intently as she pulled out her phone and put in her headphones before she started dancing. Watching her dance was mesmerizing. Her body moved in a beautiful and graceful way and I couldn’t look away. And in that moment my heart broke when I realized I could never be with her. 

30 Minutes Earlier 

Brittany’s POV

As I washed the last bit of slushy from my hair I felt completely defeated. First hour was halfway over so I decided going to class wasn’t worth it. Instead I opted to go to the auditorium. As crazy as it sounds right then I needed to dance. Since I was little dancing has been my way to let everything go. I’ve always been afraid to do it in front of an audience but when I’m alone dancing helps me forgot about everything that’s bothering me. 

Once I reached the stage I set my backpack down and put my headphones in. As the music started I glided and spun around the stage gracefully. By the end of it I was sweating and out of breath. Luckily I had a change of clothes that I quickly put on before starting towards the door. However as I was about to leave I heard a noise behind me. I quickly turned around to see the last person I wanted to interact with right now. Santana Lopez. 

“How long have you been here,” I asked?

“About twenty minutes. I came here right after I slushied you. It’s the only quite part of the school and I needed to clear my mind. I was gonna leave when you came in but honestly you’re such a beautiful dancer I couldn’t go,” she said staring down. 

I couldn’t believe she just said that. She called me beautiful. Or at the very least she called my dancing beautiful.

“Oh uh... thank you,” I stuttered. 

She nodded and the two of us just stood there in awkward silence before she finally spoke. 

“I’m sorry I’m such a bitch. I’ve let Quinn control me for years and I’ve been too afraid to do anything about it. But seeing your face after hitting you with that Slushy, I’ve decided that I’ve had enough.”

“But I thought you said that Quinn had some dirt on you,” I responded still confused. 

“She does. But it’s something I’ve been hiding for awhile and I really need to let out.”

As I listened I started to put things together. And I could tell by the way her eyes hid some weird feeling of shame that I knew exactly what it was. 

“Are you... gay,” I finally asked?

I saw her give the smallest nod and my heart sunk. Suddenly everything made a lot more sense. Why she was so mad all the time and why she seemed to be lightening up on me. 

“Does anybody else know,” I continued hoping I wasn’t asking too much. 

Once again I could barely see her shake her head and I took a deep breath.

“Just you and Quinn,” she said barely audible. 

“Well I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about. Quinn threatened to tell everyone if I don’t continue to bully you. That’s why I threw the slushy. Brittany I swear I’ve never wanted to do something less in my life.”

I could see her eyes tearing up and she told me everything. I couldn’t believe Quinn could be so awful but I guess she’d do anything for her benefit.

“What about Puck? Is he just your beard or something.”

“Yeah but he doesn’t know it. He’s always asking why I won’t give him my virginity but honestly, it’s cause I couldn’t be less attracted to him.” 

I nodded thinking about how my Mom was always trying to set me up with different guys.

“I totally understand. The only boy I’ve ever kissed was Mike Change in 8th grade. Possibly the grossest moment of my life.”

Santana laughed and I felt my heart flutter at the sound. It was almost like my feelings from freshman year were returning. And now that I knew she played for my team... well who knows. I smiled slightly at the thought and she noticed raising her eyebrow seemingly confused. 

“I should be going,” she then said before passing me and heading out the door. 

“Wait Santana.” I ran after her and pulled out my phone. “Why don’t you give me your number. Then you can text me anytime you need help.”

Suddenly she took a short breath before looking me in the eyes. 

“What if I told you that you already had it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Only a few chapters left now. Please leave some comments. Reading the ones on the last chapter are what motivated me to get this one out fast. I hope you’re all enjoying so far!!


	9. Chapter Nine

“Wait Santana.” I ran after her and pulled out my phone. “Why don’t you give me your number. Then you can text me anytime you need help.”

Suddenly she took a short breath before looking me in the eyes. 

“What if I told you that you already had it?”

I looked at her slightly confused. I know for a fact she didn’t give it to me in English cause I’d been messaging her on Instagram 

“I’m pretty sure I don’t,” I said with a bit of a laugh. 

She took a deep breath before looking at me directly in the eyes. 

“If I tell you something will you promise to hear me out,” she pleaded. 

I gave her a slow nod still not sure what she meant until finally she started talking. 

“So a few weeks ago I admitted to myself that I was a lesbian for the first time. I always had feelings but it was the first time I’d ever said the words. And I just felt lost. I didn’t know what to do or who to go to. And I knew if I approached you you would think it was a prank or something so I came up with something else. I got your number and texted you.”

It was right then that I realized what she was saying. 

“Are you trying to tell me that for the last month you’ve been catfishing me,” I said shocked? 

“It’s not like that Brittany. Every message, joke, and compliment were completely from me. I just, used a different name. I thought if you knew it was me you wouldn’t even give me a chance.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I’d told her. Every secret I’d shared with “Lydia” and all the things she’d told me suddenly had a completely different meaning. 

“I need time to think,” I told her backing away. 

I felt like I couldn’t breath as I thought through every single word exchanged between us. Did it mean anything? I was starting to catch feelings for “Lydia” but what did that mean now. 

I ended up just running. I ran from the auditorium and out into the parking lot. It was only second hour but I was already done with the day. As I went to my car I just couldn’t help but think about my feelings for Santana. She was the girl who’d called me beautiful, but she was also the girl who stood me up, and more importantly the girl who bullied me for years.

I was walking with my head down so I didn’t notice somebody already waiting at my car until he called out to me. 

“Hey Britt.”

I looked up to see Sam leaning on the trunk of my car. I could tell by his face that something was seriously wrong. 

“Hey Sam, what’s up,” I asked with a sense of concern. 

“Quinn cheated on me,” he replied bluntly staring off. “I found her and Puckerman making out in her room yesterday. Even after I caught her she didn’t really care. I’m sorry I ever doubted you Brittany. She was just using me. I can’t believe I had sex with her,” he said sliding down my car to sit on the ground before putting his head in his hands. 

I walked over to him and crouched down to his level before putting my hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s okay Sam. I’m really sorry for what I said. You’re the only person here whose consistently been there for me and I should’ve done the same.”

He suddenly looked up at me and smirked. 

“Why are you skipping school,” he asked, the realization hitting him. 

“It’s a long story. Why don’t we drive around and I’ll explain.”

So that’s what we did. We spent the next few hours driving through Lima well I broke down everything that happened. As I was talking my phone suddenly buzzed and I looked down to see a message from “Lydia”. It felt weird seeing that name so I quickly changed it. 

Santana: I am so sorry Brittany. I know what I did was wrong and I really feel horrible. I was really starting to feel us getting closer and I really like you. I’m just scared. 

Brittany: If you really liked me then why’d you spend years tearing me apart. 

Santana: I’m telling you. It’s all Quinn. She threatened to out me. I just couldn’t risk it. I don’t know how my parents would react, or my Abuela, or anyone else. 

Brittany: I just need time to think. I was honestly starting to like “Lydia”. But now I’m not sure. 

Santana: Everything I said was genuine. I really think you’re beautiful and everything else. 

I let out a small gasp at the message. Santana had just called me beautiful. Sam glanced over at me from the drivers seat and smirked at my blush. 

“So what are you thinking. Are you gonna give her a chance?” 

I shrugged, “I’m not sure Sam. I think I really like her but after all these years... it’s just a lot.”

Sam nodded and we just ended up driving in silence for a few minutes. We arrived back at school halfway through 4th period and we headed back inside. My phone buzzed as I went to class and I looked down. 

Santana: Just give me a chance. Breadstix at 7? 

I took a deep breath before unlocking my phone. 

Brittany: I’ll be there. 

The rest of the day went by as I waited nervously for my.... date? I wasn’t really sure what it was to be honest but when 7 o’clock finally came around I found myself outside the Italian restaurant. I walked inside and was relieved to see Santana already inside. 

“Hey,” she said with a smile and a small wave. 

I also gave her a smile and the waitress took us too a booth. We sat across from each other and I nervously stared down at the table. 

“So, I just wanna make one final apology I guess,” she said breaking the silence. “I was hoping we could maybe start over.”

“Start over? Just forgot about all the insults and injuries,” I replied. “You’re the one who made me go to the back of the locker room so I wouldn’t “perv on you.” 

She sighed before looking up at me. 

“That’s because I was worried people would notice me checking you out. I’ve actually had a crush on you for awhile Brittany. I’ve just been too ashamed or scared to admit it.”

I was in shock that she just admitted that to me. Santana Lopez had a crush on me. 

“I’m willing to give you a chance,” I said. “If what you say about Quinn is true then I’m willing to try. But I want you to distance yourself from her. If you can do that I’ll try dating you.”

“That’s all I wanted,” she smiled. “Though I’m not sure if I’m ready for it to be public. If that’s okay.”

I nodded, “I understand that. You come out when you’re ready. And we can just see how this goes.” 

She smiled at me and I couldn’t believe it. I was actually going to try this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some reviews. Only one or two chapters left!! But I’m already working on some other stuff so stay tuned.


	10. Chapter 10

Santana and I have been testing this whole “secret dating” thing for about a week. To get past Quinn, Santana and I simply avoid each other in the halls. That way Santana doesn’t have a choice when it comes to tormenting me since she obviously isn’t gonna try tracking me down. Then at lunch we sit in the back of the library where nobody else goes. Santana broke up with Puck using his cheating as an excuse and honestly... I’m happy. Like really happy for the first time in awhile. We still haven’t established what we are in terms of labels though physically we haven’t done anything. Not even handholding until Santana’s comfortable, which is fine with me. The last thing I want is her to feel pressured into anything especially since she’s never been with another girl. Though technically I haven’t either I guess aside from my drunken make out session. 

Anyway I was sitting in the back of the library waiting for Santana to arrive. Like usual she showed up a few minutes late but the smile she had always made up for it. 

“Hey Britt Britt,” she said as she sat across from. 

I blushed at the nickname which made Santana smirk. She knew I loved when she called me that. 

“So there’s something kind of important I wanted to talk about,” she continued which made me slightly nervous. “It’s about homecoming. I know it’s this Friday but I just wanted to talk about it.”

I sighed and nodded. I kinda knew what was coming. 

“I understand if you don’t wanna go together,” I said. 

I was kinda disappointed when she didn’t object and instead explained further. 

“I was just thinking maybe you could go with Sam and I could go with some other Cheerios. Then maybe we can sneak a dance in somewhere.”

I can’t lie and say I wasn’t kinda hurt by this. Santana seemed to like me but was scared which I totally understand. It’s just that I’m hoping it’s not long before she’s ready. 

“Once I figure out what to do about Quinn then we’ll be free to do whatever we want.”

“Why don’t you just come out yourself? Then she can’t do anything about it,” I suggested. 

She looked down and let out a sigh. 

“I just need to know that I’ll be safe. I need to know my parents aren’t gonna kick me out or something like that.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything. I could tell she felt bad cause for the rest of lunch she was silent. 

After lunch I went to my next class where luckily I had Blaine. Immediately upon entering I went to sit next to him and leaned over whispering. 

“How do you and Kurt do the whole secret dating thing.”

He looked surprised but quickly smiled. 

“Looks like somebody’s got a new woman in their life,” he said with a bit of cockiness. 

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t control my blush which just provoked more teasing from Blaine until finally he gave me an answer. 

“It’s not easy Brittany I’ll be honest. But there’s not really rules to it either. You just have to do with whatever your comfortable with. If this lady of yours wants to hold hands then you do it. But if not then you just act as friends. Until your behind closed doors of course,” he finished with a wink. 

“Okay slow down Romeo we haven’t even held hands yet. Let alone... that,” I said with a shudder. 

“Well then just ask her. Ask what you want your public relationship to be.” 

I nodded not really getting the answers I wanted. 

Luckily for me things became clearer over the next few days. It started Wednesday night when Santana was over at my house. We were watching Sweet Valley High and sitting on my bed with about a foot between us. As we watched I suddenly felt her fingers interlock with mine and I looked down to see her holding my hand. I glanced over and she had a completely normal expression. Internally I was freaking out but externally I remained calm just focusing back on the tv as she slowly rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand. 

That Saturday was homecoming and ultimately I decided it wasn’t worth going. Santana was sad but understood. Dancing around with Sam for an hour well the girl I liked hung out with her friends wasn’t my definition of fun. Santana was still gonna go with some other Cheerios which was fine. I was just as happy to hang out with Lord Tubbington until afterwards when Santana said she’d come over. 

I had been watching movies for about an hour and a half when Santana suddenly texted me. 

Santana: Hey Britt Britt. I really need a favor.

Brittany: Ok?

Santana: Meet me at the school in 15 minutes.

Brittany: Ok? Wearing what?

Santana: Whatever you want. 

I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie confused by the messages. I drove to the school and parked in my spot before heading towards the front entrance. There I saw Santana already waiting. 

“Hey Britt Britt thanks for coming,” she said with a smile. 

“What’s going on,” I asked?

“Well Brittany. I’m nominated for homecoming queen and wanted you to see me win. I also realized that I really wanted to dance with you. So I thought I’d invite you here to dance with me.”

“Right now,” I asked confused. 

Santana nodded and pulled out her phone to start playing some slow music. She then stepped forward and put her hands on my shoulders. I was in shock but slowly I reached forward and placed my hands on her hips. We slowly rocked back and forth until Santana pulled me closer. 

“I love this,” she said resting her head on my shoulder. 

“Yeah this is...”

Suddenly the door swung open and Santana jumped away from me. I looked over and was in fear as I saw Quinn. 

“What the hell is this,” she said angrily. “I warned you Santana. I told you that if you stopped.”

Quinn was also interrupted by the door swinging open and Kitty stepping outside. 

“They’re announcing Senior Homecoming royalty,” she said. 

Santana, Quinn, and I quickly made our way to the gym. Santana and Quinn got up on stage along with a few other girls and the nominated kings. I could tell Santana was slightly nervous as Figgins fumbled with the envelope. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen I am here to announce this years senior homecoming royalty,” he said with little enthusiasm. 

Slowly he tore open the Queen envelope and I could see Quinn’s cocky smirk. Finally Figgins finally got the letter out and he remained silent for a few seconds before finally speaking. 

“Your Senior Queen is Santana Lopez.”

I was so excited as she walked up to get her crown. Unfortunately as she walked forward Quinn shoved her way through until she reached the microphone.

“Oh hell no. You did not just give Homecoming Queen to Lopez. You know what, enough secrets. It’s time McKinley high school knows that your precious little head Cheerio is nothing but a dirty little lesbian.”

I looked around and saw everybody’s shocked and confused faces. 

“That’s right everyone. All these years Lezpez has been peeking up those Cheerios skirts and perving in the locker room. I know firsthand because Freshman year she tried to kiss me. I backed away of course, don’t wanna be confused for an abomination like that.”

Nobody said anything and instead just looked around at each other not sure what to think. 

“So you’re really gonna make her your Queen. A disgusting dyke.”

“Alright Fabray that’s enough,” Santana replied marching forward and ripping the mic from her hand. “Who here has ever felt threatened or cornered by Quinn Fabray.”

I looked around and saw several people nodding and a few raising their hands. 

“Exactly what I thought. For years I lied to myself and everyone else. And that’s because of Quinn. She threatened me daily and I’m not the only one. She does anything for power and won’t stop when she hurts somebody. She forced me to bully and tear down an amazing girl just because she was brave enough to be different.” 

I could see Quinn growing furious until finally she started towards Santana. It seemed like she was gonna hit her or something until out of nowhere came Kitty with a slushy. She threw it directly at Quinn drenching her in the sticky drink. 

“Finally!” Kitty yelled. “I’ve been waiting for years to do that. Every time you threatened me or slapped me or said you were gonna tell my parents has been leading up to this and it feels so good.”

Santana stood in shock as she saw Quinn now drenched in slushy try to process what was happening. 

“You’re nothing but a slut Kitty. You’re the one who gave your virginity to a college kid. All of you are dead to me,” Quinn yelled before running off stage. 

There was some applause as Quinn’s rein seemed to be over. 

“And now with that bitch having left the building I can make an announcement. As Homecoming Queen I can safely say that there’s only one person here I’d like to dance with. And it’s definitely not one of these apes,” she said gesturing toward the King nominees. “And that person is Brittany Pierce.

Suddenly a ton of eyes were on me. And as I realized how underdressed I was Santana was already walking towards me. And before long we were in a circle of people slow dancing. Soon everyone was also slow dancing around us which is when Santana leaned towards me. 

“I have a question,” she said. 

I smiled, “What is it?”

She took a deep breath before looking into my eyes. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

I was speechless. I couldn’t believe that she was actually asking me this. 

“I want you to be my public girlfriend. I wanna hold your hand in public and kiss you whenever I want and I want people to know how crazy I am for you,” she continued. 

I was starting to tear up and she lifted her hand to wipe them away. 

“Of course I will,” I finally answered. 

And to my surprise she leaned forward and kissed me. It was a sweet kiss and within seconds I kissed her back. I didn’t care if anyone was looking because I was in love. In love with Santana Lopez. And nobody was gonna get in my way anymore. 

7 Months Later

“Britt Britt if you don’t hurry we’re gonna be late,” Santana called from the bottom of my stairs. 

I stood in my room straightening out my gown and making sure my cap looked okay. It was finally graduation and I couldn’t be more excited for it. Homecoming was a turning point for me. After Santana and I went public things got so much better. My Mother finally accepted me as a lesbian and well not completely understanding it she supports me. Lilly and I hang out much more than we ever did before and she even comes to me for advice now. Kurt and Blaine went public with their relationship with minimal backlash and those who did give them some were meant with Santana’s wrath. 

And of course there’s Quinn. After Homecoming she came to school with a vendetta. She tried to regain control but got no respect from anybody. Without her side bitches she was kind of irrelevant. She ended up dropping the Cheerios and basically became a social nobody. 

And finally Santana. Ever since we became official things have been great. We go on dates and hold hands just like any other couple. Because when you get down to it we are like any other couple. Because I love her and she loves me. 

It’s crazy to think this all started with a fake name and an unknown number. And it ended with me finding the love of my life. And as I walked down the stairs to see her also in her cap and gown I knew. I knew this was just the start of something amazing. And I couldn’t wait to see where it led.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everybody for reading Unknown Desire. It has been so exciting to write and see people’s reactions. Please leave some reviews and kudos and check out my other stories. Until next time thank you again.


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